Don’t fall into blaming
The first thing we typically do when something goes wrong is to blame. We blame others or ourselves, depending on the situation but blaming does no good whatsoever. It’s a waste of energy and keeps us focused on the problem, not the solution. Notice when you feel you want to blame or self-judge and come back to how you can solve the problem instead.
Don’t give up – let go
You may feel like giving up when it feels like the sky is falling in. But what is the alternative? Rather than giving up on the possibility of feeling happy again or on your dreams for the future, let go of the attachment to them. This means you should go ahead and dream and take the action that can make those dreams into a reality. But, don’t buy into the belief that if they don’t happen, that you won’t be able to be happy.
Don’t numb yourself
There are many ways we numb ourselves to the pain we feel throughout our lives. Of course, we could use drugs or alcohol, but even more often, we use keeping incredibly busy or tuning out by watching TV or playing mindless games. Even though it’s not fun, it’s important for your healing to experience the pain that you feel. Unless you do that, the pain will stay with you in various forms until you allow yourself to feel it.
Don’t isolate yourself
When we are scared, embarrassed or worried, our natural instinct is to hide away to lick our wounds. Of course, there is a time for that – a time when we need to be alone with our feelings and thoughts but it’s too easy to stay in that place of isolation far longer than is healthy. The less connection we feel to family and friends, the more depressed we become. This almost always increases our feelings of fear and worry. So, make a point to be around the positive, supportive people in your life, even when you don’t feel like it.
Don’t hang out with negative people
When you feel like life sucks, you are more vulnerable than at other times when life seems rosy. Being around people who are always complaining or blaming is a sure way to make yourself feel worse. Know that it’s okay to say ‘no thanks’ to invitations that you know will end up in a huge complaining or back-biting session. Instead, get together with people who support your dreams and visions of the future.