YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE; YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS. THE CHOICE TO HAVE A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE OUTLOOK IS COMPLETELY UP TO YOU. IF YOU ARE TIRED OF DWELLING ON THE NEGATIVE AND WANT TO START THINKING MORE POSITIVELY, THESE IDEAS MAY HELP.
Everyone should have a purpose in life. If you’ve never thought about your purpose or have lost your focus, think about how to bring more meaning and purpose to your life. Knowing why you are here, in this life, gives you something to focus on and strive for.
If you’ve been wallowing in self-pity, making excuses for the things going wrong in your life. Stop. Even if you don’t yet have the tools, skills or resources necessary to improve your life, you can stop making excuses and complaining.
Practice gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and document every day something you are grateful for. The more you focus on the positive, the less room there is for negative.
Practice mindfulness. When you live in the present, you have no time for dwelling on past events or worrying about future ones. You are able to be one with your thoughts and actions.
Instead of thinking in terms of winning or losing, where it’s either black or white. Either you succeed or fail. Think in terms of riding the horse or falling off, getting up and trying again. You either achieve your goal or you learn from your mistakes, hone your skills and then you try again.
Before you point out all the things wrong with something, have some solutions in mind. Be proactive, a problem solver, not a criticizer.
Break negative self-talk. The way you think about yourself directly affects how you view everything else. When a negative thought enters your mind, immediately swap it for something positive.
When possible, use the word “get” instead of the word “have”. I “get to spend time with loved ones” instead of “I have to visit my in-laws”. “I get to work in a climate-controlled environment” instead of “I have to go to work today”
Start believing in yourself. Be proud of your accomplishments. Think of one positive thing about yourself every day and take pride in it. Don’t let your inner critic control you.
Use “Yes” or “Yes, and…” statements instead of “Yes, but…”. For example, if you were asked if you like chocolate cake. You might be tempted to say “Yes, but it’s not good for me.” Instead, you could say “Yes, I do!” or elaborate, if you’d like, with “Yes, it’s my favourite treat.”
Distance yourself from negative situations, especially at work. When things get heated, if it doesn’t directly affect you, step back and let others handle it. Know you are doing your best and you are not responsible for fixing everyone else’s problems.
Take great joy in small pleasures; a bite of rich chocolate, watching a sunset, spending quiet time with a loved one, walking barefoot in the sand or mud. These small things can bring so much pleasure to your life if you let it.
Take a break from toxic people; those who are never happy or constantly complaining. Don’t let their unhappiness pull you into the same mindset.
Smile, laugh, dance and sing. The freer you are with these actions, the more positive you will feel.
Make happiness happen. Don’t wait for something or someone to make you happy. Take action to make yourself happy. Happiness is an attitude.
I’m dedicated to helping women all over the world and the men who love them.
In writing this book, I wanted to:
* Show that there is hope, healing and happiness after deeply scarring trauma
* Raise the awareness of respectful sexual relationships, talk about the issues of consent and the impact of sexual assault.
* Raise your awareness of the importance of family relationships
* Give you a deeper understanding of domestic violence
* Raise your awareness of the depravity of sexual abuse towards children and adolescents
* Give you a greater understanding of the impact these crimes have on the victim as well as everyone close to the crime/s.
I trust that reading this book is an enriching experience.