A call For Help.
Over the weekend and into Monday, I was feeling underwhelmed with my life path since I published my first book in January this year.
I heard the misguided self-talk of a reformed perfectionist, struggling with the feelings of “not good enough” and “not perfect enough”, who did I think I was to embark on a career speaking professionally and writing books of meaning that help to heal the world. I’m not generating much of an income, if any, from book sales and as yet no paid speaking engagements. I was feeling like a failure.
You see, I have written a powerful, deeply introspect book on my life.
It is not a ‘’fluffy” read, it has guts, and determination, strength, and fragility. It’s a vulnerable look at what transpired in my life; there’s no blame, no regret, just an explanation of what happened, how it changed me, how I sought knowledge and understanding to heal myself, how wonderful my life is now. It’s the musings, and the learnings from pain and trauma suffered first hand. It’s a testimony to the strength of one person’s resilience – hence the title. I don’t say these things lightly, as the self-confidence, self-love, and self-empathy. I now feel, where hard fought for traits, I struggled to understand and obtain. I know these words to be true in my life now.
I believe my story will save, help, inspire, and heal millions.
I know that it has already had an impact on those that have read it. I know because of the hundreds of heartfelt messages people have sent me.
What I don’t have is a “name” or a “known personality,” like Michelle Obama or Tara Westover or Brene Brown or any of the other well-known personalities who have written memoirs and books, whose stories are no less inspiring and meaningful. They have teams of people assisting them with marketing, advertising, booking signings, and speaking. Team coordination of effort = sales and income to dream of 😊. This then enables them to help more and more people, healing the world as they go.
My team consists of me.
I’m a one-stop marketing, bookselling, hustling, blogging author/radio host who knows, that I know, that I need to keep pushing ahead.
Why do I know, because my story is not about me, it’s about the change that happens to you when you read my memoir, the questions it raises, the hope it offers and the way you think about certain issues in our world, the things it explains. It’s the unmistakable belief that I was called to do this and that it’s selfish to keep from the world a message that is uniquely mine. That can only be told by me and can only be delivered in my unique way.
In listening to Brene Browns audiobook, “Rising Strongly,” I know I have an issue with help, not giving it but receiving it.
I have ALWAYS struggled to ask for help. I am fiercely independent and never ask for help from anyone. Asking for help always makes me feel vulnerable, less of a person. I, however, have no issues with being generous to a fault, being completely and consistently helpful to others all of the time. I collaborate endlessly with others but ask nothing in return. Then it hit me…..
I realised that there are all of YOU out there. That there’s a reason, I connected with you, that you are part of my team and that your connectedness to me is part of a much bigger desire to get my message out there and help to heal the world.
So today I’m asking, not in a spirit of neediness but in the spirit of accepting help in whatever form that takes….. I need help selling my book, I need help encouraging people to read my book, I need people to buy my book, I need help getting booked to speak. I have an abundance of brand “Toni”
to give away, and in return, I can assure you that your life will be changed forever the better knowing you helped an unknown author change the world.